The Cheese Elf (kalquessa) wrote,
The Cheese Elf

In which I argue with SG-1 (and lose)

I'm attempting to work on my Finish-a-thon fic. I've done all kinds of historical research that probably won't even get used. I've got an outline with which to beat the story into shape. The problem is, SG-1 has suddenly stopped talking to me:

ME: Hey guys! Guys?

THEM: *silence*

ME: Hellooo? Trying to write a fic, here? Could use your help...

THEM: *cold shoulder*

ME: Um, listen...guys? What the heck? Normally I can't get you to shut up, and now you won't talk at all?

SAM: We just...don't feel like talking, right now.

ME: Riiiight. Well, that's not going to work for me. I'm scared of deadlines. And of what kerravonsen will do to me if I blow this one.

JACK: We could talk about that plot bunny where I meet my mini-clone again.

ME: Okay, that would be fun and everything, but that's not what I'm working on right now.

JACK: What you're working on right now is boring.

DANIEL: We're just not that interested in angst, at the moment.

ME: Okay, but there are frescoes! You're really excited about the frescoes!

DANIEL:, I'm not.

ME: In the story you are.


ME: Work with me, here.

SAM: *mumbles*

ME: Excuse me? Something you want to share with the class?

SAM: I don't think I want to be the POV character anymore.

ME: *stares* You're kidding right? After you fought, tooth and nail, to get me to make you the POV instead of Jack? Who is, may I remind you, way easier to write than you!

SAM: Sorry.

ME: You will all be nice and play along with this plot bunny, or else!

DANIEL: *interested* Or else what?

ME: I will write you badly!

JACK: You will not, either.

ME: I will so!

JACK: You won't. *smirk* You know you won't. You'll just punk out on the deadline and turn in nothing whatsoever if you can't get anything good out of us.

ME: *deflates* Okay, that's completely true. But...just...seriously, guys, have pity. I need you on this.

JACK: I have an idea! You could go read fanfiction instead!

ME: *dirty look* Stop it. I didn't want to read any more fic until I'd made some headway on this story. Teal'c, help me out here.

TEAL'C: I am uncertain in what way I can be of assistance.

ME: Tell them they need to cooperate with me.

TEAL'C: I cannot. I, myself, am unconvinced that such a course of action is required or even advisable.

ME: Not you, too! Why?

TEAL'C: I appear to have exactly *consults script* three lines in this entire story. Two of which take place in the final pages.

ME: *sighs* Okay, guilty. I just...don't know what to do with you in this one. But I'll figure something out, okay? If I give you more to do, will you talk to me again?

TEAL'C: I am most intrigued by this new story premise in which I encounter a television program called "Dog: The Bounty Hunter" and convey my reactions to said program in a humorously stoic and formal manner.

ME: Not about that!! *headdesk*

DANIEL: *reproachfully* He's just trying to help.

ME: Nattering about shiny new plot bunnies that are not the one at hand is not helpful! It is worse than not helpful! It is counter-productive!

SAM: We could talk about old plot bunnies. There's that one about the talking tree aliens that you got because of the typo that became a joke in the comments of that one post...

ME: *hides face in hands* I hate you all so much.

JACK: *grin* What's sick is that you actually love us. A lot.

ME: I know. And it is sick. Sick and wrong. Let me know when you guys feel like being cooperative. I'm gonna go read Atlantis fanfic.

JACK: I thought you weren't gonna read any--

ME: Shut up.

On the upside, I made a shiny team icon. *points* I'll just be beating my brains out on the keyboard if anyone needs me.
Tags: arguments with fictional characters, finish-a-thon, stargate, writing
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