ME: Hey guys! Guys?
ME: Hellooo? Trying to write a fic, here? Could use your help...
THEM: *cold shoulder*
ME: Um, listen...guys? What the heck? Normally I can't get you to shut up, and now you won't talk at all?
SAM: We just...don't feel like talking, right now.
ME: Riiiight. Well, that's not going to work for me. I'm scared of deadlines. And of what kerravonsen will do to me if I blow this one.
JACK: We could talk about that plot bunny where I meet my mini-clone again.
ME: Okay, that would be fun and everything, but that's not what I'm working on right now.
JACK: What you're working on right now is boring.
DANIEL: We're just not that interested in angst, at the moment.
ME: Okay, but there are frescoes! You're really excited about the frescoes!
DANIEL: Uh...no, I'm not.
ME: In the story you are.
ME: Work with me, here.
ME: Excuse me? Something you want to share with the class?
SAM: I just...um...I don't think I want to be the POV character anymore.
ME: *stares* You're kidding right? After you fought, tooth and nail, to get me to make you the POV instead of Jack? Who is, may I remind you, way easier to write than you!
ME: You will all be nice and play along with this plot bunny, or else!
DANIEL: *interested* Or else what?
ME: I will write you badly!
JACK: You will not, either.
ME: I will so!
JACK: You won't. *smirk* You know you won't. You'll just punk out on the deadline and turn in nothing whatsoever if you can't get anything good out of us.
ME: *deflates* Okay, that's completely true. But...just...seriously, guys, have pity. I need you on this.
JACK: I have an idea! You could go read fanfiction instead!
ME: *dirty look* Stop it. I didn't want to read any more fic until I'd made some headway on this story. Teal'c, help me out here.
TEAL'C: I am uncertain in what way I can be of assistance.
ME: Tell them they need to cooperate with me.
TEAL'C: I cannot. I, myself, am unconvinced that such a course of action is required or even advisable.
ME: Not you, too! Why?
TEAL'C: I appear to have exactly *consults script* three lines in this entire story. Two of which take place in the final pages.
ME: *sighs* Okay, guilty. I just...don't know what to do with you in this one. But I'll figure something out, okay? If I give you more to do, will you talk to me again?
TEAL'C: I am most intrigued by this new story premise in which I encounter a television program called "Dog: The Bounty Hunter" and convey my reactions to said program in a humorously stoic and formal manner.
ME: Not about that!! *headdesk*
DANIEL: *reproachfully* He's just trying to help.
ME: Nattering about shiny new plot bunnies that are not the one at hand is not helpful! It is worse than not helpful! It is counter-productive!
SAM: We could talk about old plot bunnies. There's that one about the talking tree aliens that you got because of the typo that became a joke in the comments of that one post...
ME: *hides face in hands* I hate you all so much.
JACK: *grin* What's sick is that you actually love us. A lot.
ME: I know. And it is sick. Sick and wrong. Let me know when you guys feel like being cooperative. I'm gonna go read Atlantis fanfic.
JACK: I thought you weren't gonna read any--
ME: Shut up.
On the upside, I made a shiny team icon. *points* I'll just be beating my brains out on the keyboard if anyone needs me.